Maybe just writing things down on a page will help me actually write something for this research proposal.... I'm blocked and I'm anxious and can so easily get in a bad frame of mind...
Yo-yoing back and forth between I have to do this, I need to pass terms, I just need to get something on the page to I don't want to do this, It will magically go away, I'm weak and I want out.
CRAZINESS!
The annoying thing is I feel like I can sit the final exams but its just these stupid open ended assignments that send my brain into a mess of ruminative, negative, depreciating thoughts. It's like I'm just letting myself fall into a self-fulling prophecy. Great. Taylor JUST WRITE SOMETHING. FAILURE IS OK. It's NOT the end of the world, the sky isn't going to come crashing down and sallow me up into nothingness.
I just kept going to different sources in the hopes that they would have something different and profound and all encompassing to say, a miracle cure, a way out and breakthrough. No such luck, as I knew all along. I'm my own worst enemy caught up in the tangles of my own mind, tripping me up, trapping me a prison of my own dysfunction. Powerful but in a wicked witch of the west kind of way.
yup.
No comments:
Post a Comment