Nearly...

Nearly there. The mid-semester break is looming, two days away! A much needed break and a time to catch up on studies. I had my first university test on Saturday, it was fine, we'll get the results soon. Not much has happened since I last posted, study, test. chill, sleep, lectures, eat and repeat. Though I think I'm slowly starting to get used to it here....maybe. 

Inspiration Wall

University is...

UNIVERSITY IS...

STAMINA 

LATE NIGHTS AND EARLY MORNINGS 

THIRD WORLD FLATS WITH SHOPPING CARTS AND PICKET FENCES

BROKEN GLASS ON SIDEWALKS 

A GHOST TOWN DURING LECTURES 

LONELY

LARGE 

AN INFORMATION OVERLOAD MACHINE 

MONEY 

A CHALLENGE 

A GATEWAY 

ANOTHER FORM OF CONFORMITY 

FREEDOM

COMPLEX 

THE SAME OLD ROUTINES 

WALKING THE SAME PATHS 

A PATH YOU HOPE MAY LEAD 

SOMEWHERE WORTHWHILE 

SOMEWHERE bright

thoughts in poem form. 

Homesickness and grey days.

Why does Dunedin wether has to be so grey? It doesn't help improve one's mood. I had a nice day yesterday with Dad and Kirsten but now I feel that familiar twinge of homesickness.... Uni isn't a piece of cake and I'm here trying to navigate it by my self. No-one can do the study for you or make your motivation spring forth. It's on you. I want a rewarding job but it's like I'm not prepared to work for it- not how the world works! Sleep and study now. More like try to study.

2 weeks in...

Tiredness, lots of content, amusing lecturers and high school revisited.

So when the vice-chanceleur get up to speck in front of the incoming year of students her remarks don't always hold true as I've found out and instead a crazy man in cargo pants has more of an idea of uni life. "The cliques of high school do not apply here, everyone has something to contribute...." Really? Well not yet. I didn't think it was possible to drag high school slug with you but apparently it is. Little stings of high school trauma still pervade, people still haven't grown up yet. If you have any weakness one will still exploit it. Help me, I thought uni was were the nerds ruled and no one was too different. Don't worry it's not as bad as I'm making it sound.... :) just thoughts on the experience thus far.


Now the crazy cargo-pants wearing man. He was right. You go along then you dip down and you come up the other side, maybe multiple times, maybe once. I've gone along and down I think I'm starting to take the roller coaster of uni adjustment down. I guess it has to happen.

Little fish big sea.

So I still haven't found my place yet, my niche, my rhythm. I lie here in bed while the wild events of tonight are just starting, running down the halls, yelling, laughing and of course drinking alcohol, copious amounts. I don't know what I'm doing to be honest. I'm I studying enough? I don't even know how to study! I'm almost scared to work hard. Maybe I've never had to work hard for something in my life. Mostly, subconsciously I'm probably afraid to fail. FAILURE. I don't want to work hard and then fail.

Some parts of this first week have been great, these little glimpses of what university could be like. The engaging HUBS lab, passionate lecturers, hearing interesting, intellectual conversations in passing etc. Though despite this I still feel like a little fish in a big sea, almost scared to swim. I really don't know what I'm doing!