City Lights.

Looking out over the Dunedin city lights tonight. Got me thinking about the "adventure" that has been this year and how I'm nearly at the end of it. We had our final formal dinner tonight and the food was delicious, the people were good company and the music was entertaining but it got me pondering some things... 
I always seem tot be drawn towards stories or pictures or moments of meaning, of life and of connection but have I actively pursued that this year? No, not really. I long to experience life's great triumphs of human spirt and discovery, of kindled souls and moments that are meaningful or light or shocking or inspiring. But truthfully I have often just hauled my self up to my cupboard room and procrastinated, by myself, on my own. How am I supposed to 'taste the fruit of life' by myself? Not that I haven't had great experiences this year I just look back and know that I could have been much more involved. I can't be annoyed that I don't have deep meaningful friendships or a bunch of great "university" experiences if I didn't put myself out there so to speak. The longing is there but there's a disconnect between fantasy and action in the real world. A daydream believer... 

live in my own world